The wreckage of the past has not become the wreckage of the present. Present wreckage is accumulating just fine without me digging in to the pile to pull up old crap and make it current. I saw the girl, we met for coffee a while back. Made amends. Accepted. Went well. She's had it rough. Of course, that part is not my fault. It is still very sad to see. This was a girl I cared for deeply, and still do/always will. I want her to be happy and healthy and all that good shit. Nothing I can do to accommodate that except own up to my own shit. As for me, if I didn't know better, I'd really want to drink some beers tonight. And last night. Damn, they sound good. Hot weather plus lingering depression make me thirsty. Fuck it. I'll just be sad, lonely and sober. Some things never change. |